Sometimes periods of Solitude are necessary in life. To take time out. To heal. To create. To realign. To rest. To build a foundation. To plan a new direction. Solitude is not the same as Loneliness. Periods of Solitude can be healthy and welcomed whereas extended periods of loneliness can be painful and angst ridden and unwanted. Loneliness is not someone just feeling lonely on their own. People can be lonely in a crowd, in a group or even in a relationship. They can also be lonely on their own of course.
Often when the feeling of loneliness creep up on a person they feel not just lonely on their own but also with others as they feel disconnected. For anyone who feels at odds like this you need to ask yourself why you feel like this. And what you need to do to feel better. Sometimes if you are on your own you are actually choosing to be and need to be as you are not in the right place or doing the right thing in your life. Something is wrong in your life. You may even need some kind of support.
There is also a term for someone feeling disconnected in a society which has changed beyond recognition and that they feel completely lost in and this is called “Anomie”. “Anomie is a condition in which society provides little moral guidance to individuals”.
Sometimes the world goes through Great Depressions which can affect individuals as a group where many people feel at odds with the current political or economic climate, status quo or trends. Still within this you need to be able to make your life function in a way that is desirable to you and not assimilate things that do not benefit you or you cannot control and remove triggers.
Some do not feel lonely on their own and just need solitude sometimes. Great Philosophers spent periods of time alone to contemplate existence. It is healthy to spend some time alone whether it is a few hours, days, weeks or even months going into the wilderness if that is what you need to find yourself once again. Some people positively enjoy time spent alone and some people cannot bear it. But everyone at some point needs some quiet time.
In the arms of Solitude begins Contemplation and Soul Searching. Sometimes the mixed views of others, of media, friends or relationships or being pulled one way then another can distract us from ourselves. No Man is an Island but sometimes Solitude protects us as we take care of ourselves and leave the busy world outside. If you find yourself in the wrong relationship, job or even friendships maybe you are holding on because they distract you from yourself, from thinking about your life’s direction.
Sometimes imposed solitude can protect us from danger if there are people we want to avoid. Sometimes people need to isolate themselves to save themselves in certain situations.
People often experience loneliness or choose solitude at certain in times in life such as following a bereavement, a divorce, a relationship break up, a job ending, moving to a new location, travelling alone, getting a health scare or actually going through a life threatening illness or surgery, being in an accident, being the victim of a crime, feeling threatened, suffering a trauma, receiving shocking news, being misinterpreted, misunderstood or accused of something they didn’t do, starting college or uni or reaching a crisis point in their lives where they feel at odds with the world.
The True Life begins when we consider what we want from our lives rather than following the beliefs and opinions of others or attaching ourselves to others rather than forging our own identity. Once we let go, self examine and dare to dream life should become more rewarding. If you find yourself lonely ask yourself why? Ask yourself what you need? It is healthy to have relationships with others but not if you find it oppressive. Nor if you find your identity being eroded.
If you feel the pangs of loneliness ask yourself if it’s what you want and if not take steps to break out of it. If it is what you need embrace it. Sometimes people enter a time of solitude to begin a creative project, to travel, to study, to train, to focus. If you need time alone it may be necessary though not entirely enjoyable.
Periods of solitude are healthy but too much is bad. Find the balance in your life. And if you find yourself in Solitude realise it can also be a very Creative Time and a Healing Time. Like all things in life loneliness or solitude is often transient. Often after a period like this you can emerge with a clearer focus and start to surround yourself with the right type of people, doing the right type of thing and living in the right type of place.
Solitude can be good. Loneliness is painful. It is a reaction against solitude. A solitude that a person finds themselves in that they didn’t want. So they rage against it which makes it worse and more painful. Relax. Whether you realise it or not if you find yourself in this place you have contributed to it in some way. Periods of solitude, loneliness and isolation are a natural part of life. Maybe you had a lonely childhood, or a period later in life that was lonely. Maybe you are someone who finds themselves lonely in later life because they lost their partner. Loneliness is part of life. However solitude does not have to always be painful.
Remember that Loneliness and Solitude is the Cocoon. It is the dark lonely painful place of struggle. Yet in some form or another you will find your Wings. When you finally emerge you will be changed. Transformation is not the Bright Colourful Wings of a Butterfly on a Sunny day. That is the End result. That beauty is born of struggle and hard work and not giving up. Transformation is the dark and lonely cocoon. This is where you start to become who you were meant to be. If this is where you are realise it will pass and realise you are growing, maybe you are shedding an old life you do not want any more. Perhaps you are now in Isolation because you are in a vulnerable phase of life and this is actually a form of protection till you are ready to re-emerge.
The Greatest Thinkers, Healers, Philosophers, Artists, Musicians, Writers have often taken time out on their own. This is also true of Spiritual Seekers. Some people want to experience Solitude in a Wilderness to escape a busy, demanding stressful world and to escape the rush of traffic and replace it with the calm of Nature. To try and find themselves away from all the noise.
Life is not 100% Sunshine. Life is ups and downs. Life is highs and lows. Feel your moods. Embrace your pain as well as your happiness. It is better to do that than to be like an unthinking Zombie. If a Tower of Destruction comes it’s time to rebuild. From inner work, contemplation and soul searching comes a new beginning. If you are going through a period where you find yourself alone. Remember you are not alone! Everyone goes through this at some point in their lives. Even if you are a Lone Wolf in a Midnight World, still, soon you may find your pack.
The beautiful artwork at the top is by an American Artist and Illustrator called Harry Bennett. It was a cover for a Gothic Romance Novel called “Thunder Heights” by Phyliis. A. Whitney.
The Artwork at the bottom is from Misty Comic, a Supernatural Cult Girls Comic from the 1970’s.
(This post is by SupernaturalHippie.com – Not to be reproduced without prior consent.)
If you liked this post you may also like Starry Night
And my Poem Sadness